I'm fat.

and it's consuming all my thoughts and effecting my reactions.

Its just constantly  saying "How much better of a person I would be if I was skinnier."

I always constantly think of how fat I am.

and Always compare myself to other people.

But I'm unmotivated, have horrible will power and lack control to do anything about it.

SO I Just need to face it that I"m just going to be a whale forever

 or until I start doing drugs or something.

Well I wanted a fucking sign and I fucking got one. Fuck it.

I need to start making changes.

I just want to feel prettier and more Toned than her. Why can't people just be happy with themselves and not have to feel like they have to compete with everybody?

Sometimes I just wish I could get people to like me.
I just think there is something wrong with the way I act which makes people not want to have a close relationship with me.

I only wish I knew what it was.

I wish people would be brutally fucking honest with me and tell me why people don't like me. because then maybe I could change it.